::So I haven't really updated in a while::
That might be something you'll have to get used to. I'm not abandoning this account or intentionally ignoring you all, it's just now that I'm working full time I very rarely have the energy for anything DA related.
I don't typically even come home till around 1.30 or 2am most of the time and when I do, all I really wanna do is switch on my PC and relax with a good movie. Thats almost my entire average day in a nutshell outside of work.
This job has it's ups and downs but I'm going to stick with it. As pessimistic as it is I honestly don't feel that there's anything better for someone like me out there.
From a strictly realistic perspective, it took me THIS long to even find an employer willing to hire me full time instead of constantly jumping from meaningless part time retail jobs that barely pay a salary worth getting out of bed in the morning for so I feel this is an opportunity I shouldn't be in a hurry to get out of.
I suppose when you look at it, it's a pretty grim situation the whole world is in right now that we try not to acknowledge or focus on too harshly but the fact is, for the younger generations out there, there really is nothing.
Our economy's in such a hopeless situation it almost feels completely pointless getting an education after high school unless you have a realistic focus in mind because the honest fact is, you could waste 5 or so years in college and even more going to university and still end up having to survive on government social benefits because no employer is willing to hire you.
And thats not the small minority anymore, it actually is fast becoming the small minority who even manage to find a job after high school. (Or at least a job working full time).
Though I Suppose I'm not really talking about the whole world, just the part of it I live in.
Really makes me wonder sometimes how our generation or even future generations are going to cope when we get to 60 and are preparing for retirement. (If that would even be a possibility at that point?)
I mean hell, I honestly found myself spending an entire day contemplating suicide the other day because the chef of the kitchen I worked at asked me to tip the dirty water from the deep fryer into the outside drain pipe and some asshole then chased me back into the kitchen and told me thats a criminal offence and I could go to jail and end up paying a £25,000 fine just for doing that.
I honestly spent the entire day after that moment trying to think of the most painless way of killing myself if the situation ever came to it because in all honesty, I don't even know how I would even cope in either scenario.
I could sell every single thing I own and still spend my entire life trying to pay off a debt that big.
Is it even worth living through something like that?
You've really gotta ask yourself questions like that sometimes because this really is the reality we live in these days.
I don't know this for a fact but I guess given the typical demographic that a lot of the people who follow me on here or just read my journals are still in high school and haven't really experienced the working world just yet.
All I can really say is brace yourself for the worst and be as grateful as you can you have a TV and a warm cup of coffee to come back to at the end of the day because those two things may honestly become your best friends after the day is done.
I feel I've gone far off topic though.
I suppose I don't really hate this job, I've made some good friends, I feel like a rat on thanksgiving whenever they give me leftovers to throw away (hell I even stalk around the kitchen like a vulture sometimes just looking for food that I could 'throw away') and again, I'm finally earning a wage I could hopefully support myself on.
But there are times I do just wonder to myself what the hell I'm even doing here. Very often I have to work almost two hours after my shift is over to clean up the kitchen despite not being paid for any of it, and the times when I have to take out the heavy-mother-fucking-garbage, the cheap plastic bag splits open and it goes all over the place and there's no one around but me to clean it up, I almost just wanna run.
Really the food garbage bins have become the bane of my existence. I even call them that... directly to their faces! These bins are making me hate the colour red, why the fuck are these damn bins red!??
But these things are typical in any job really, there's always going to be things you like and hate. The only thing that really makes this job a struggle for me is the journey. It's so far from where I live and up until this point I've been relying on either public transport (which is costing me almost one fourth of my entire paycheck) or the kindness of others just to get to work on time everyday.
But it's become more and more apparent that I need to buy either a car or an electric bike if I'm going to stick with this job. I tried to buy a regular £130 hybrid bike because I'm just unwilling to spend that much but it's proven to be a complete waste of money.
It's almost impossible to get there by bike as there are so many insanely steep hills I have to go through (both there and back) that by the time I actually get there or home, I'm too faint and exhausted to even walk, nevermind work a 10 hour shift.
I just today tried to return to bike and get my money back but Halfords won't even take it. Con artist bastards. You know that whole 28 days exchange or refund guarantee is bullshit. Thats how they get ya.
Either way, it's become apparent that I need an electric bike, a regular bike just can't cut a journey this far and walking isn't really an option either.
Frustrating thing is, a reliable electric bike typically starts at £1000 or over. I seriously don't want to spend that much but it has gotten to the point where I don't really have a choice.
Yeah cars, mopeds and motorbikes are still an option but when you consider all the hassle and costs that are tied with them. (licensing, insurance, maintenance, petrol, MOT, VAT, all that other government tax bollocks) an electric bike is still the best option.
I mean the only maintenance it'll ever really need is a puncture fix every rare occasion. No other cost would ever really be tied to it.
*sigh* Ah well... despite all of this, all I've ever really wanted out of this is to finally be able to have my own apartment and move out. Thats been my goal ever since I was 15 years old and has been my only real motivation in any job I've ever worked at.
What's the point in even having a job if you can't afford to support yourself, right?
There's this one place I've had my eye on all month long now. It's absolutely perfect for me as its literally next to town centre yet not even far from where I currently live. I walk past it almost everyday I go into town. It's in a quiet cul de sac tucked away from the troubles of the world so I can only imagine it doesn't get much crime and even though the apartment itself is unfortunately pretty small if not tiny, in every other respect it's almost too perfect.
My only fear is someone else is going to beat me too it before I even get a chance to apply for it or contact the agency which is sadly almost the case for every apartment I always have an interest in, but either way I really want to move out as soon as I can.
I suppose I can't complain, I do have it really good where I live, I just really want my own independance and feel at my age it's long overdue if not heck, selfishly owed to me.
But for those who don't care, this journals probably become a really boring read so let's change it up a little and get to the more interesting topics...
I'm planning to release the latest versions of both Sonic Adventure Minecraft and Shenmue Minecraft on July 30th if possible. Despite how busy I am I still do work on the two projects in what little free time I can salvage and have slaved for weeks on end building the mountains and scenery of the Mystic Ruins or the shops and office buildings around Yokosuka, Japan.
(Seriously this has almost become a second job for me.)
Hopefully it's all worth it though. It really pisses me off that despite the draw distance in minecraft, you still struggle to see all of the scenery of the Mystic Ruins unless you get right up and close to it. Considering how hard I worked on those mountains to try and make them look strikingly detailed it's almost enough to make me wanna chew on my fingers that people playing on a weaker computer won't even get to appreciate any of it unless they actively go exploring right up close to them.
Grrr man that pisses me off!
One thing I am considering though, I already stated before how once some of my projects are completed I want to have a go at bringing the old classic sonic games to life with Minecraft, but I'm also considering more recent 3D sonic games as well like Sonic Heroes, Shadow the hedgehog and maybe even Sonic 06, who knows?
I know people are obsessed with bringing Sonic Adventure 2 to minecraft but thats not personally something that interests me to be honest. I just don't feel the stages are even that interesting enough to warrant the hassle of recreating them and let's face it, the most interesting stage in the entire game is without a Doubt, City Escape which many people on youtube try to bring to life in Minecraft but in all honestly, I'd personally be far more interested in recreating the Real San Fransisco as opposed to the linear fake one.
Wouldn't that be a more interesting challenge?
I've already expressed before how I'm interested in bringing real towns and cities to life in Minecraft though so that is something I may or may not attempt in the late future.
Hell I'm actually going to work on my Cheltenham Minecraft project as soon as this journals done.
As for bringing Sonic Unleashed to life in Minecraft (going back to the previous topic, sorry.)
It's something I've considered since I first got into World building but I'm just not really sure I want to do it or if it's even possible.
I mean games like Sonic Adventure and Sonic 06 can work well in an open world setting because they all take place in one remote location. Or something like Sonic heroes or the classic Sonic games where you're constantly travelling through linear pathed environments almost like a road trip adventure.
Again that stuff can totally work in Minecraft but something like Sonic Unleashed almost feels like it'll be more work than it's even worth.
Heck have you seen the locations in this game? Spagonia alone would be challenging enough but linking it to places like Chun-nan, Empire City, Apotos and Eggmanland is almost enough to make me want to faint.
It wouldn't be impossible, but something like that I could see myself devoting my entire life to and tbh I'd rather not waste my entire life glued to one project when there's so much more I feel I could be doing.
One project I really am considering giving a go though. I've had this idea since day one but never really knew how to go about attempting it.
I've always loved the idea of Pixar characters living in this big world that they share together, almost like Disney Infinity meets Wreck it Ralph or Roger Rabbit where Pixar Characters like Mike Wazowski, Woody, Mrs. Incredible, Merlina etc all star in their own movies and then behind the scenes go home to this big open world where they all live in their own 'districts' or areas themed around their own worlds, yet come together once in a while.
Again, Wreck it Ralph did that idea perfectly and even the short lived TV series Game Over pulled it off in a way that worked for them.
I think there was even a Disney/Pixar game for Kinect that did this. Where your kids could go on adventure's to all these different pixar themed worlds from a disneyland theme park style hub world or something.
Anyway thats something I really wouldn't mind attempting.
Ever since I saw the movie Monsters University I've always wanted an excuse to bring their world to life in someway, even if It's just that world and not the others.
I mean yeah there's always Disney Infinity but it's just not the same thing. I'm not really creating that world just as much as I'm placing buildings and people everywhere. Plus I can't really share my creations with the world outside of the Monthly Toy Box Share feature. It's just not the same as doing it in Minecraft and really feeling like this is a world I build with my own two hands, y'know?
But yeah I just love the idea of being able to explore Pixar themed worlds or what it would be like if Pixar characters were all friends or had lives outside of the movies they star in.
It's actually become a recurring fantasy or daydream for me.
Like say if the incredibles host a dinner party and invite Mike, Sully, Merlina and Carl Fredricksen over and they talk about their movie careers or wherever the mood of the conversation takes them.
And the incredibles have Skinner from Ratatouille as their obnoxious next door neighbour or something.
Maybe things get more bizarre and every fictional character you can think of comes together and lives in this huge world.
Maybe Mike Wazowski owes Iron Man money and Iron Man was going to break his legs if he couldn't pay but then Duke Nukem comes in and offers to pay his debt if Mike can get him Child Pornography Magazines but the only 7/11 in Metroville that sells them went out of business due to Mr. Incredible beating the shit out of the grasshoppers from A Bugs Life who ran the store so he has to go to Carl Fredricksen's blimp out on the falls and ask Carl to hook him up but Carl says he's not in the porn making business anymore and... yeah I'm just rambling about nonsense here, but you get my point. (I hope...)
I wanna get back into Disney Infinity Regardless. I just gave the PC version a try as it's free to download and play. It's almost feels pointless building my own worlds as pretty much every single thing I've ever been inspired to create has already been made and is free to download but just collecting the figurines alone makes it all worth it. They really are remarkably detailed and I still find myself admiring the small collection I currently own.
Argh, it kills me Fix it Felix isn't in the game though. Seriously, I really hope they consider bringing him to Disney Infinity 2.0. I know they're doing Maleficent and Merlina so it's not all going to be Marvel Focused. (And thank god for it. I'd have 0 interest if it was just marvel superhero's in a toy box world).
But yeah thats pretty much all I have to say really...
I haven't forgotten about the Shenmue 3 fan fiction novel I was writing or Katherine and Hippoloid or all the other many hundreds of projects I keep announcing but you never see or hear of.
I'm just trying to keep the focus on where it's mostly wanted and as most people tend to have an interest in Sonic Adventure and Shenmue Minecraft, thats mostly what I focus all of my energy into.
I still do art on rare occasion as well. I haven't given up on that nor have my talents really deteriorated over time.
Ever since I played DMC I've become obsessed with the game and often have Lillith's Nightclub background music in my head while I'm at work.
Anyway it inspired me to draw Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Cream and Cheese as Demons just out of boredom one day.
Basically my interpretation of what Sonic Characters might look like through the eyes of Ninja Theory if they were featured as Demon Cannon fodder enemies in DMC.
I haven't scanned the artwork and it's currently sitting on a pile on top of the Katherine and Hippoloid character art I haven't uploaded yet either but they do look freaking badass.
Sonic looks like a cross between his cameo on Illbleed and Sonic the Werehog. He's boney, has sharp teeth and claws and a terrifying grin that makes him look like he wants to rape your asshole and claw you in half for the thrill of it.
Tails looks even freakier, he's like a cross between one of warren spectors Epic Mickey concept art monstrosities and the doll girls from Alice Madness Returns. It's enough to make Tails Doll wet his pants in fear, he doesn't even look like something that could physically exist his design is so bizarre.
Knuckles is pretty scary but I admit not that interesting. He just looks like a scary, blood hungry beast in Knuckles form.
Amy on the other hand is a lot more terrifying. She has huge claws that could tear through anything and a chilling grin making her look completely insane. She has devil like hooves and acts like a female demon carrier, constantly giving birth to other demon cannon fodder enemies for the hero to fight. Man that would be freaky to see. Especially considering how she's constantly grinning and laughing throughout the whole damn thing...
As for Cream and Cheese, I tried to draw inspiration from the Mundus's Spawn boss fight, having Cheese as a giant mutated monster and cream hanging out of his body like a possessed voodoo doll but ehh, it's really hard to make a chao look intimidating and tbh I feel like I failed with this one.
Hell it's hard enough to make Cream look scary, nevermind her pet fucking chao.
Sonic and Tails as demons are definitely the highlight of the whole thing though. At some point I may do Eggman as the Bob Barbus giant hologram head from the boss fight in the raptor news network tower but ehh, we'll see how things go.
Anyway last thing before I wrap this all up, for Sonic Adventure fans this is pretty unbelievable but Corvid Dude and a group of other dedicated fans in the modding community actually managed to piece together and restore the lost Beta version of Windy Valley in its entirety.www.tssznews.com/2014/07/12/wi…
It seriously amazes me at times what this fan base is capable of. If Sonic's world was real you'd all be highly paid archeologists working in museums or something. The stuff you guy's are capable of. Bravo!
Anyway thanks for reading all of this and I'll try and keep you all updated on my life and my projects/art/etc whenever I can.
Thanks for reading.